This is a quick little post on confidence in general. I’m feeling pretty good this morning, I had a nice night last night with a couple of friends. I was upset by one of my friends not turning up and not even letting me know she wasn’t coming. If you’ve been reading my other posts, you’ll know it’s been a tough week, I felt like I really needed people there for me, and she wasn’t. I’m okay despite that though. I had a little rant about it, and now I’m going to let it go because it’s not healthy to hang onto it.
There’s a few things that have helped me regain a little confidence. One is the confidence diary, for sure – it really helps to concentrate on the positives not just about yourself, but in any situation. Another is being assertive. I’m not an overly assertive person because I can struggle with decisions and doing what is best for me. Often, I put other people first but not always in a good way. When you are constantly trying not to hurt someone else, you can end up hurting yourself, and then you do what you think is best for the other person but you’re in such a funk that you can’t actually see the situation clearly, and it becomes damaging to your relationship – whether it’s a friend, partner or family member. You need to identify what you need for yourself. This doesn’t mean you can’t put others first sometimes, but you need to put yourself first too sometimes.
It can be hard to figure out what it is that we want for ourselves, so allow yourself thinking time, but don’t shut off from the people around you to do so. It’s a tricky balance but it is achievable.
I also tried on a dress today that I haven’t worn in a while. You can’t feel real body confidence until you feel some mental confidence, but feeling good about yourself physically can boost your mental confidence too. You need to find both to be happy in both, kind of thing. That sounds complex, but again, it’s achievable. I liked the dress when I wore it before, I felt good about myself in that time so putting it on today brought back some of that feeling. I’ve been a bit of a slob recently – pjs, baggy clothes, lots of black.
Wear something nice today and achieve something you’ve been putting off, whether it’s something like washing up, cooking a nice meal, going shopping or something like doing a big of writing, going for a walk, reading about something you’re interested in. It all helps!