So I took a couple of days to myself to do almost absolutely nothing. I think the emotional strain of the last week caught up to me a bit and I really, REALLY didn’t feel myself. I wasn’t just disconnected, I felt ill – like you know when you have the flu and your brain just flicks between random thoughts that have no connection to each other?
I was also completely physically exhausted. No matter what I ate, I had no energy afterwards. Just laying in bed, holding my phone above my face made my arms ache. I could have fought it, and got some things done anyway, but I figured that was my body telling me I needed a minute to sit down and process. I napped during the day yesterday and the day before, and I generally dislike napping if I haven’t actually done anything to wear myself out. Both times, I had insanely vivid dreams where I was aggressive to other people. I have no explanation for this, one of the dreams involved my sister who I have no anger towards, she has been so lovely to me recently while I’ve been going through everything, she’s driven me places and bought me food, she’s listened to me go on about myself and my problems and offered advice. She’s basically been a really good sister.
Anyway, I’m feeling a bit better today. I slept a LOT yesterday and still managed a good nights sleep. I still don’t feel 100%, but I feel more stable and connected, which is what I need.
So that’s where I’m at today. Later, I shall be making a post about the pros and cons of Zoos as a tool for conservation.