Confidence Diary: Day 3.


I haven’t done one of these properly for a few days because either side of doing nothing, I’ve been doing everything. Last weekend, I went to a wedding event with my partner. I knew absolutely nobody there, and I still enjoyed it! Whey!

If you’ve been following my posts, you’ll know by now that I am no social butterfly. In fact, this very week I have reduced my number of female friends down from 2 to 1. I shy away from new situations because they’re scary. For a lil while last year, I was very good at socialising. I taught myself to see new social interactions as opportunities  – the good kind, not opportunities to make an ass out of myself, which is my current mind set. I live in hope that one day, new social interactions might excite me again, but for now, I just can’t do that.

Despite that, I had fun! I wasn’t left out despite knowing nobody, my partner was excellent and included me in everything. I feel like he made a real effort for me, but I’m really proud of myself for making the effort too.

I managed to make my rabbits a larger run with panels and string. This sounds ridiculous but it’s been playing on my mind that my bunnies currently have a crappy tiny run. I was supposed to build them a huge one, but I’m actually moving in like two weeks and the crappy weather has delayed the building of the proper run. Now, I may as well put it all up at the new place instead of building it to fit my parents garden. The new garden is smaller, but having a look today, I think I can still make it the same size as I’d planned, which means building can commence, aside from the weather. One of my rabbits, Rafiki, has seemed particularly unhappy recently. He started chewing at the rubbish run every time he was in it, and out of fear he’d cause permanent damage to his teeth, I stopped letting him in the run, so the only times he’s out is either on my single bed or on a harness. This is not ideal and he has not been having the exercise he needs. He’s less than a year old and is a ball of energy. I haven’t known what to do about it because I’ve been in such a funk, until yesterday. I finally had enough of having a depressed bunny and did something about it. I’m quite proud of the makeshift run – it’s not perfect by a long shot, but there’s room for me to sit in there with them, and more room for them to hop about, yay!

I’ve also driven for the first time in a week or so. Generally, low confidence = an aversion to driving. My car is 16 years old, the air con leaks, it makes a funny noise that sounds like creaky metal, I’ve had all kinds of welding done on it and it is in DESPERATE need of new tires. I have skidded out more than once on a wet road, as has my sister. I promise you it’s not my driving! I have never skidded in another car and nor has she. I’ve also never crashed, beyond very very very gently bumping a wall when I hadn’t driven for a year (pulling forward into a parking space…) and curbing the car when I very first passed my test because my bag fell from the passenger seat. I don’t put it on the passenger seat anymore…Back to the point, I drove! And it was all fine! Yay!

What else? I’m meeting some people that my other half lived with in the Falklands for a year or so. I’m excited about this! He was in the Falklands before we were an item. I had a huge crush on him before he went, but we both ended up in other relationships. He kept in touch more than I did, and would send me incredibly penguin photos he’d taken, pictures of a horse in a boat they were ferrying from a nearby tiny island, and other ridiculous things. I’ve heard so, so many stories about these two guys, both of which sound lovely, so I’m looking forward to that.

Anyway, that’s it for today I think! It’s had it’s moments, but it’s been a pretty good week!


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